HOW TO MAKE FAMILY MEMBERS FEEL PART OF YOUR SPECIAL DAY

TIPS FOR INVOLVING FAMILY MEMBERS IN YOUR WEDDING-

Yes it is YOUR day, and it should be special for you. But remember that part of what makes the day special for you is being able to share it with your family and friends. While they all may enjoy sharing your day with you, there are many little ways you can make them feel a big part of your day.

• Have younger siblings or cousins assigned to age appropriate jobs. A preteen can help place pew markers, or circulate a guest book, or be invited to the shower as a guest and a helper. I have had nieces and nephews as young as 8 or 9 work together with an adult to serve food and beverages to guests with no mishaps. 

photo by Kim Harris, Eyemagine Photography

• Two young teens can work together to serve beverages by one carrying a tray of soft drinks and the other handing them out to guests.

• Give a digital camera to teens, who will likely be more comfortable behind the lens than in the spotlight. Some of the most memorable pictures I have at my son's wedding reception were of my 80+ year old father and were taken by my 10 yr old nephew. Kids will take 100's of pics, some good, some not, but if you weed through them after the event and do a bit of editing and cropping you may find the "shot of the day".

• Have a child who is a too old for flower girl but too young for bridesmaid hand out bulletins and bubbles or confetti at the church.

• At home parties/receptions assign answering the door to a young person who can then take coats and place them in a pre-determined area then direct guests to the correct area of the house. This is especially helpful when the party or reception is being held in the backyard or patio/pool area, or in a downstairs den or family room, as guests are not always comfortable wandering about your home without direction and allows the hostess to be taking care of necessary tasks or spend time with the guests who are already there.

• Take advantage of the talents of family members. I had a young nephew play his violin as guests were arriving at the reception, and this versatile young man switched quite comfortably to serving coffee and tea to older guests after the meal was over. He was quite a hit, both for his musical talent and his helpfulness.

 photo by Kim Harris, Eyemagine Photography

• If you are providing your own food for a party/reception enlist the help of teens for preparing meat trays, filling pickle/relish/condiment dishes, folding napkins, etc. They may not be as skilled or speedy as an adult, but the jobs they do can then be taken off the to do list and free up the adults for tasks that require the skill and speed. And you may discover that a young family member has a lot of talent in the art of food display and preparation. 

• If a family member has a certain recipe they are very good ad, enlist their help. One of my sisters makes excellent fudge and was thrilled to be asked to make several batches for her nephew's reception. The brother of a friend made several batches of home made wine and bottled it in small presentation sizes with personalized labels to be given as wedding favours at his friend's daughter's wedding. It was a wedding gift which was the highlight of the day, giving guests something useful to take home and serving as an attractive centerpiece on the reception tables.

• Out of town guests who arrived too late to be involved in the pre-wedding preparations can be made to feel part of the day by being asked to take care of such tasks as ensuring the wine is retrieved from the cold storage and placed on the reception tables just before the bride and groom make their entrance, or circulating the guest book. 

• If pew markers and floral arrangements need to be removed from the church after the ceremony and stored or moved to the reception site, enlist the help of someone you know who will be traveling alone, thus will have room in their vehicle. Sharing this job between two or three people who have just met will help solo guests to get acquainted with each other.

• A relative of strong faith will be honoured to be asked to say grace or a prayer of thanks at your event. The personal touch they can give to the blessing will add much to the atmosphere.

• Buy mom a lace handkerchief, pack it in a pretty gift box and present it to her for your wedding dress shopping trip. Hand write a note to her expressing how her support has been important to you throughout the years and how her sharing this moment with you is so special to you. Trust me, she'll need the hankie when she reads your note!

• Your dad may not be the "shopping trip kind of guy", but ask him to help you by looking over contracts and sales quotes once you receive them from vendors or to be responsible for coordinating deliveries of tables/chairs or other necessities on the days leading up to the wedding.

Make sure you acknowledge the help and participation of family and friends so they know how much you appreciate what they did, and how much their presence made you happy. They are part of your special day because they are a part of your life.